as a sign of my general contempt for the day
i do not hang my clothes up
Thursday 5 January 2012
Wednesday 4 January 2012
The Anti-Craft
I am not particularly good at making things, which is irritating, because I come from a family that is generally very handy. My mum quilts, knits and does all manner of clever things with fabric. When I was little, all my toys were kitted out with clothes and accessories lovingly made by my sister. Who else can say that their toy lion had a hammock, or its very own camping kit?
In the spirit of sibling adoration, I wanted to do whatever Sophie was doing, so I too tried my hand at knitting, cross stitch, crochet and various yarn type things. However, I never took into account that I was 2 years younger than Sophie, and that perhaps I wouldn’t be as good as her straight away. But if I can’t master something instantly, I become very disillusioned, very quickly. I would usually manage about 30 lines of knitting before it became hopelessly tangled and holey, which is the point I would have a strop, throw it away, and shout at my sister for being better than me.
HOWEVER! I HAVE MATURED NOW! And having been brought up in a household where I watched I constantly witnessed things being created out of nothing, I have cultivated an (slightly naive) attitude that craft is doable, even if you’re not particularly adroit. If you have an idea of something you want to make, just go for it, and you can usually hack it together somehow.
So when I saw this little beastie hanging out in the Halloween aisle in ASDA I though, hey, I bet I could turn that into something cute. And reader, I did.
Igor (yes I’m calling him Igor) was meant to be a little rucksack,
for kids to take trick-or-treating I’m guessing, but I thought he was too adorable to let some snotty child stuff with sweeties. I’ve always swooned over Ugly Dolls whenever I’ve come across them in shops, and given them huge cuddles (I have a lot of feelings) before being prised away, and I thought Igor would make a handsome bedroom companion.
WANNA SEE HOW I DID IT? EVEN THOUGH IT’S REALLY OBVIOUS AND QUITE SIMPLE?
Oh alright then...
YOU WILL NEED-
Needle
Thread
Stuffing
Thing that was once a bag that you want to make into something that is not a bag.
I snipped off all the straps and bits, so just Igor’s little bod was left.
If you’re feeling particularly kitsch, avail yourself of thimbles.
Turn the bag inside out, and sew up the bag opening. I used blanket stitch, because it’s the only one I know.
Sew all along the opening, leaving a gap through which you can poke stuffing through, to make Igor plump and hugable. You also have to use this gap to turn the bag right side out again. You’ll have to adjust the size of the hole you leave, depending on the size of the material of the thing you’re trying to force back through the hole.
Once you’ve turned the bag inside out again, the top should be sealed up, now it’s stuffin’ time. I cannot advise you on what sort of stuffing to use in any way. I suggest you do what I did, and rip apart a cushion embroidered with a sickly platitude given to you by a malicious passive aggressive bitch pretending to be your friend that you never liked anyway. Craft and catharsis, it’s the future.
Even if you don’t have the cushion issues that I do, there’s bound to be a teddy or something you don’t know why you have kicking around the house that you can disembowel and harvest for it’s soft and fluffly insides. Prod these cuddly entrails into the gap until your Igor has reached the desired stage of squidgey. Sew up the gap. If you’re cack handed like me, it’ll show, but I think this adds a certain Frankenstein’s monster chic-ness to Igor.
DONE!
Igor is the blue one, I'm the girl in the Ronnie Corbett glasses.
I realise these instructions probably make very little sense. Maybe my gung ho attitude to craft is not actually all you need, but I maintain that if there's somehting you want to try, just go for it.
Do share your stories, dear hearts xxx
In the spirit of sibling adoration, I wanted to do whatever Sophie was doing, so I too tried my hand at knitting, cross stitch, crochet and various yarn type things. However, I never took into account that I was 2 years younger than Sophie, and that perhaps I wouldn’t be as good as her straight away. But if I can’t master something instantly, I become very disillusioned, very quickly. I would usually manage about 30 lines of knitting before it became hopelessly tangled and holey, which is the point I would have a strop, throw it away, and shout at my sister for being better than me.
HOWEVER! I HAVE MATURED NOW! And having been brought up in a household where I watched I constantly witnessed things being created out of nothing, I have cultivated an (slightly naive) attitude that craft is doable, even if you’re not particularly adroit. If you have an idea of something you want to make, just go for it, and you can usually hack it together somehow.
So when I saw this little beastie hanging out in the Halloween aisle in ASDA I though, hey, I bet I could turn that into something cute. And reader, I did.
for kids to take trick-or-treating I’m guessing, but I thought he was too adorable to let some snotty child stuff with sweeties. I’ve always swooned over Ugly Dolls whenever I’ve come across them in shops, and given them huge cuddles (I have a lot of feelings) before being prised away, and I thought Igor would make a handsome bedroom companion.
WANNA SEE HOW I DID IT? EVEN THOUGH IT’S REALLY OBVIOUS AND QUITE SIMPLE?
Oh alright then...
YOU WILL NEED-
Needle
Thread
Stuffing
Thing that was once a bag that you want to make into something that is not a bag.
I snipped off all the straps and bits, so just Igor’s little bod was left.
If you’re feeling particularly kitsch, avail yourself of thimbles.
Turn the bag inside out, and sew up the bag opening. I used blanket stitch, because it’s the only one I know.
Sew all along the opening, leaving a gap through which you can poke stuffing through, to make Igor plump and hugable. You also have to use this gap to turn the bag right side out again. You’ll have to adjust the size of the hole you leave, depending on the size of the material of the thing you’re trying to force back through the hole.
Once you’ve turned the bag inside out again, the top should be sealed up, now it’s stuffin’ time. I cannot advise you on what sort of stuffing to use in any way. I suggest you do what I did, and rip apart a cushion embroidered with a sickly platitude given to you by a malicious passive aggressive bitch pretending to be your friend that you never liked anyway. Craft and catharsis, it’s the future.
Even if you don’t have the cushion issues that I do, there’s bound to be a teddy or something you don’t know why you have kicking around the house that you can disembowel and harvest for it’s soft and fluffly insides. Prod these cuddly entrails into the gap until your Igor has reached the desired stage of squidgey. Sew up the gap. If you’re cack handed like me, it’ll show, but I think this adds a certain Frankenstein’s monster chic-ness to Igor.
DONE!
Igor is the blue one, I'm the girl in the Ronnie Corbett glasses.
I realise these instructions probably make very little sense. Maybe my gung ho attitude to craft is not actually all you need, but I maintain that if there's somehting you want to try, just go for it.
Do share your stories, dear hearts xxx
O hai
Jane Austen lied to us
It may sound glib, but it's true
She made us believe in love and felicity
She made us believe in someone who
Delights in a voracious reader
Finds beauty in a dark lively eye
Under this misapphrension my
Labours have gone unnoticed
No-one has invited me to a ball
The handsome man, seems to ignore Jane's plan
And chooses the slag with no dowry at all.
It may sound glib, but it's true
She made us believe in love and felicity
She made us believe in someone who
Delights in a voracious reader
Finds beauty in a dark lively eye
Under this misapphrension my
Labours have gone unnoticed
No-one has invited me to a ball
The handsome man, seems to ignore Jane's plan
And chooses the slag with no dowry at all.
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